Ekunyi's Embers

Fallow Time

It’s funny, that a mere matter of months after writing about “fallow” times — more specifically, that I had yet to experience one since developing the healthiest, and most fulfilling, sense of spirituality in my life to date —  I seem to be experiencing just that. It’s not particularly surprising; wrapping up my masters degree pushed me to the edge of my capabilities as a scholar and functional human being. My body’s doing a bit of recovering after months of sleep deprivation, dodging departmental drama monsters, and generally trying to keep my shit together. Shrine time has been extremely minimal since early April, though Set stayed near throughout the entire experience, an ever-solid presence that provided the occasional verbal kick-in-the-ass to hold the sporadic nights of depression at bay, to forge me into someone capable of finishing the damnedable 70 page paper, and to keep my wits about me even as colleagues turned on each other and professors did nothing.

My partner offered the comfort that balanced Set’s semi-militant commands, and between the two of them, and the voices of other friends and family (I’m looking at you and sending you a lot of love, Tenu) I somehow got through this fucking semester of cancer scares and interpersonal bullshit and self doubt.

I can still sense the gods, but I’m struggling to write anything about Them, and I don’t feel like I can muster the focus to return to shrine just yet. I suspect it won’t be much longer though, just a bit more rest, a bit more genuine down time and then I can be productive again in spiritually meaningful ways.

I’ve started doing grant-writing and newsletter edits for an Ohio no-kill cat shelter run by a friend of mine in Bast’s name. The thesis was officially dedicated to Set, and I’m doing some research into possible local martial arts classes that I might be able to afford again as another physical offering until I feel ready to return to what I was doing before.

I have ideas for what to write when the muse does come back to me.

I still owe a good friend a post on cultural appropriation and what drew me to Kemeticism rather than “my family’s faith.”

I also want to write about Set and my battle with depression, it was originally supposed to my daily life post for KRT, but that ship has sailed, so perhaps it can be converted to something else.

Is there anything else you all would like to read? I welcome the inspiration. I don’t mean to be an attention whore, but honestly just knowing folks still wish to read this and have thoughts on what might be interesting could help in getting me back into the writing flow.

My best to you all.

Leave a Reply

Share your most recent blog post?

Notify me of followup comments via e-mail. You can also subscribe without commenting.