Ekunyi's Embers

Posts Tagged ‘Ptah’

Year of Ptah – What have I built?

This is my first official changing of the year.

A year ago today I had just begun to trust Set, after three months of an extremely rocky “relationship”; a relationship one might more accurately describe as me sitting with my thumbs in my ears muttering, “La la la! I can’t hear you! La la la! ” and Him getting fed up and Gibbs-slapping me until I stopped acting like a moron. With Set’s insistence and powerful support, I ended a four year, emotionally and psychologically degrading relationship shortly before the epagomenal days began. Two weeks later I left Washington, D.C. in preparation for starting graduate school in Pennsylvania. I began what almost felt like an entirely new life.

The subsequent year has been astounding. I have:

  • …successfully completed my first year of graduate study with flying colors.
  • …founded the first official graduate student organization for my department.
  • …established patterns of mindfulness and self-care which, while still very much in development, have provided me with the greatest sense of emotional stability I’ve had since reaching young adulthood.
  • …attended my first public “pagan” event.
  • …taken the bulk of my personal financial responsibility off of my parents.
  • …started a new, healthy, mutually beneficial relationship with one of the most kind, brilliant, and compassionate individuals I’ve ever had the honor of knowing.

With these steps forward I have let go of:

  • …much of the anger I felt towards my previous partner.
  • …concerns regarding not being intelligent enough to pursue a career in academia.
  • …the gut-reaction of terror if asked to speak about my spiritual beliefs in a public setting.
  • …the belief that I did not deserve to be treated with respect and love.
  • …the fear that held me back from being the capable, determined teacher and leader I know myself to be.

There is still much to be improved and much to be released, but these things will come in time. I know myself strong enough to make those changes, to destroy that which holds me back or lessens my potential to add to the good in the world. On this, my first official Wep Ronpet, I shall celebrate what has been and what will become.

I will sing of these things with all the fire my voice can ignite, I will dance as though the storm of my Father was within me!