Ekunyi's Embers

My “Lightningbolt” of Understanding

It has been good for me to focus on animism for a time, and to forge a solid connection with Heqat, who seems to easily traverse both my Kemetic practice and my workings with the natural world. She has given me a certain serenity, encouraged me to stop and recover from my previous project, helped me to overcome the anxiety which had nearly overcome me in my final months of my graduate program. She is still here with me, and I suspect She will be for quite some time. I’ve made certain promises to Her as regards my future career in counseling, and She will see that I hold to those promises.

But She is not, in my experiences with Her, a god to push me forward, to send me into the next period of transition. No, the times of change, the times of necessary strength to make things happen? That is my Father Set’s domain, and He has made this very clear.

Fellowship with other Kemetics, the celebration of the festival for the Beautiful Reunion that celebrates Hethert and Heru-wer’s wedding, drew me joyfully back into purely Kemetic practice and efforts. During the conversation that followed ritual proper, I threw out the idea that my Father had few group rituals done in His name… would anyone be interested if I were to attempt to plan something. A strong, positive response was given, and I made a note to inquire of Set what day He might prefer.

During senut the following night, He made it very plain that He would hold me to this, and also made it clear what Day He preferred me to plan for. This is all, of course, in nascent stages, but I will write more about the process as things progress.

(And they will progress. I get the sense there’s no backing out of this, now that I’ve offered.)

My usual informal coffee with Set the following morning was met with a surprisingly in depth conversation about another aspect of Future Things, this time my career.

“Heqat is not the only one supporting you in this, daughter.”

I raised an eyebrow, as Set, for all that I view Him as a Parent deity, is rare to make a big show of the father/child, master/padawan distinction.

“No? Who else should I be working with?”

“Do you think that being a counselor will be easy?”

“Of course not.”

“Do you think that someone weak of will and courage could withstand the daily onslaught of isfet within people’s lives?”

“No, but I’m seeing your point.”

“You are the daughter of the god of change, of the necessary stripping away of that which is toxic, the removal of the great snake as it has taken hold in others’ minds and actions. Remember that, and do not forget what I am, and also what you are in bearing my standard in your name.”

He left then, and I was left to add milk to the coffee I always offer him black, sipping quietly as I considered why I had never considered this before.

I felt compelled to make good on another issue sooner rather than later: my devotional ring for Him and Bast had broken while I was at the Beautiful Reunion gathering. With a bit of extra time yesterday, I went to the local Tibetan Buddhist store where I generally buy my incense. I asked to see the rings they had available, and was immediately drawn to a garnet piece and initially assumed the mental push was just because garnet has always been, for me, His stone and color.

Asking the shop keeper about the symbolism (as I prefer not to wear things I don’t know the meaning of!) I was told that it was a dorje, the “thunderbolt of wisdom.” Stronger god-pinging ensued, and I realized I wasn’t going to be leaving the store without it. I went through my subsequent singing lesson feeling particularly “Great of Voice” with the ring perfectly snug on the middle finger of my left hand.

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Upon arriving home, I did more reading — and will continue to do more in the day’s ahead. The dorje was masculine associated, and the “thunderbolt of wisdom” could be perceived literally as a weapon of certain aggressive gods (Indra) or more symbolically, as the determination to apply “skillful means” in the effort of reaching enlightenment. Skillful means is a concept that is going to take me a heck of a lot longer than two days to understand, but seems to somehow relate to methods or techniques that fit a situation to reach enlightenment, even if those may be difficult, painful, or rely on bending the truth. (Horribly over-simplified, but again, give me five years with the concept and I’ll get back to you with something that isn’t terrible.)

Regardless of the shoddy summation above, the symbol, for all my initial, “Set wants a Buddhist ring. Right-o, color me confused,” actually… rather fits.

And then I remembered another matter that I had not thought of in months. Last August, a few weeks after Wep Ronpet, I had a dream where I was given a message, both aloud and then written down. As I thought I recognized a few words from said message as some form of Egyptian, I ran it by Rev. Tamara Siuda, and was shocked to learn that it… actually could be interpreted as Middle Egyptian.

She wrote me back that, “It could be an epithet: s3i m3′ wn-hr(w) Sth (sai ma’a wen-heru Set(ekh), which would mean “True wisdom (and) skillfulness/clear vision (of) Set.”

If you took the sai as a command (bare infinitive verb), it would be something like “be true in wisdom and clear (of vision), Set” “

True wisdom and skillfulness/clear vision of Set. Be true in wisdom and clear of vision, Set.

What is the true wisdom of my Father? Add that to the grand list of Things I’ll Be Pondering for Decades. That said, His recent reminder stood clear in my mind. The wisdom required to be a successful counselor relates much more closely to some of His knowledge than I initially realized: the wisdom of how to stand strong when faced with so much pain and hurt, the wisdom of how to use skillful means to direct your client in a mutual effort towards necessary change, even if it may be painful. The ring on my finger suddenly became my own little miniature “thunderbolt of enlightenment” relating to *why* Set stepped forward as my Father.

He always knew I was strong enough to do this. I’ve only discovered that strength for myself in the past year. I’ve wondered, off and on, why me? How could I possibly earn the god of strength’s interest? Why has he continued to work with me, push me, train me, improve me?

Finally, at least in one regard, I get it.

Dua Set.

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